Whole30 Day 26: Death By Plantains

by Jen Burdick

As a true patriot, I fancy myself a carb fan. They can come in any form, really. But I prefer starches, and I prefer them to come to me in large amounts.

Sharing is usually a non-negotiable. As in, it’s not a thing that happens.


This endearing inclination of mine, is the very reason I found myself in the depths of despair on the ugly underbelly of holiday-palooza. And consequently, the main driver that tossed me onto this Whole30 train.

I’ve had to pay super close attention to this tendency throughout this journey. So much so, that I likely wasn’t eating enough carbs for the first few weeks, in fear it would wake the snoozing Carb Goblin I’ve worked tirelessly to put down for nap time. The nutrition-wise gal in me however, knows that carbs, when consumed responsibly, and not like a ravenous monster, are not only good for you, but quite necessary. Certainly if you’re up to some cray intensity on the exercise front.

Typically our carb game consists of sweet potatoes (in all its forms), spaghetti squash, or yucca. We stick pretty closely to this trifecta in nearly all our meals. Delicious, yes. Exciting, nah.

So when Melissa, in yesterday’s Day By Day note, warned us of food boredom, I took heed.

One grocery store trip later, I was a proud owner of four plantains. Something we hadn’t yet experimented with, and felt like the perfect ingredient to spice up our breakfast game while steering us clear of Bore-ville. Decided to whip these bad boys up the next morning.

I went to bed very excited about our new breakfast guest.

We chopped, fried, flipped, sprinkled, and enjoyed. Immensely. They were golden brown discs of bliss. I went about my day, felt a little off, but nothing of note per se.

We still had 2 plantains remaining, so naturally we opt to fry them up with dinner, too. As the second batch hits the sizzling ghee, I can feel one of the Carb Goblin’s eyes pop open. But, it was just one, so we’re good. Right?

Consumes the second plantain in a single day

Approximately 30 minutes later, the Goblin regained full strength, and I feel like I just returned from recess in heavy traffic. The dreaded sugar eyes returned, my ability to create coherent sentences was gone, and I transformed into a shell of a human by 9:45 pm.


When I woke this morning, puffy and uncomfy, I tried to make sense of what had happened the night prior. I couldn’t comprehend how my new bestie could betray me so quickly. Just two plantains took me down in a single day. How could it be?

Best I could come up with is that my gut-cleaning efforts are working, and the impact of carb hoarding is felt at exponentially more powerful levels. Because, crikey. That. Was. Intense.

This morning, we whipped up our standard ginormous post work-out Saturday breakfast, compliments of dinner leftovers, and welcomed a true friend back to the plate, yucca. And I’ve since shed my zombie skin I took to bed.

This fall from glory has only made it more apparent just how power packed this upcoming reintroduction journey can be. How my body responded to ingredients prior to project clean up, is obviously quite different now. And the intensity at which my body shares those feelings, is well, hard to ignore.

After I was done cleaning up the mess in aisle four, turns out I’m grateful for last night’s wake up call. Provided a jolt of motivation during what feels like a leeettle bit of an intimidation overload as I map out my “try out all the things” adventure that commences in just a few short days.

Which, at a high level, looks like a 3 week long science experiment that starts with wine and ends with cheese. Yas please!

p.s. Treat yourself this weekend with Tara’s post yesterday. I can’t really articulate her Day 25 feelings better than she already has, “I would currently like to jump in a vat of queso with an oversized curly straw as a snorkel, and then use that curly straw to periodically drink from a vat of margarita on the rocks with salt. Once both vats are emptied (into my belly via curly straw) I would like to then consume cupcakes with cream cheese frosting while reclined in a chair made of baguettes”.

PSA: if you reside in the DC, SoCal, San Francisco or Dallas areas and want to give Territory’s Whole30 Approved meals a whirl, use code JANW30 when creating your account to snag $50 off your first order. Or just click the magic box below.

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