Whole30 Day 19: The Soda Water Resistance

by Tara Clever
Whole30 Day 19: The Soda Water Resistance

So we meet again, weekend.

My oh my, how my relationship with you has changed over the last 19 days. I remember when you were meant for blowing off some steam, now the only steam I see is the kind cooking my broccoli.

In an effort to combat Whole30-hermit-itis I have largely kept my social calendar in tact, just rolling sans booze. As I reported previously, this has been way easier than I expected, but as I stare down another Whole30’ing Saturday night I have to be honest…I just don’t think I can choke down another soda water from behind the bar.

Soda water at a bar is like the kind of sketchy cousin of LaCroix, you can see the resemblance and no question they are related, but Bar Soda Water has clearly made some questionable life decisions, you don’t really want to leave your kids alone with them and you find yourself pondering the last time they did laundry.

I used to drink full bodied reds! Or hoppy IPA’s! Now I am relegated to the bottom button on a soda gun.

What is crazy is that there are a ton of people who choose not to drink, for tons of very good reasons! How is this totally responsible, healthy choice, so under-represented in establishments that are literally designed to serve beverages?

I know I’m not alone in saying that I would happily pay for a drink that didn’t vaguely taste like carbonated bar fumes.

For example, yesterday the hubs and I wandered to an adorable coffee shop/bar to get out of the house and do some work and guess what they had?! Watermelon Hops (compliant because they are flowers) Kombucha!

What a glorious Friday afternoon treat! I have never been so happy to consume a non-alcoholic beverage, from a bottle, in a public space, in my life. It felt as indulgent and satisfying as a glass of wine, with zero guilt…which I daresay made it even more tasty.

The sun was pouring in, soft music was playing and I was drinking something not poured unceremoniously from a questionable soda gun! It was a game changer.

So tonight I say, no more.

I’ve researched Whole30 compliant mocktail recipes that are designed to be made with soda water as a base. I’m going to whip up a couple of batches, put them into tiny containers, stash them in my purse and bring them as my booze-free wingman tonight.

This plan has some obvious holes. Like what if the door guy thinks that I am Roofie-ing myself? What if I get kicked out for bringing my own, unverified fruit juice into a bar? What if my mint leaves are mistaken for drugs? What if it is so wildly popular with other non-drinkers I am forced to share and I run out?

Even in the face of these grave risks, I am willing to forge ahead and stand up against the Bar Soda Water regime. I plan on reporting back on Monday, so stay tuned for Day 21…hopefully not written on crumpled notebook paper that I acquired by bargaining with the warden.

This blog has to continue! Do you think there are Whole30 compliant meals in jail?

P.S. Jen is well on her way to Food Freedom Forever and bringing her piping hot beverages with her on the ride. Read about her Never Ending Story here.

PSA: if you reside in the DC, SoCal, San Francisco or Dallas areas and want to give Territory’s Whole30 Approved meals a whirl, use code JANW30 when creating your account to snag $50 off your first order. Or just click the magic box below.

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