There are many signs in my life that point to the fact that I am an adult.
A few examples:
- I have a coffee mug that says ‘No Talkie Until Coffee’.
- I now say things like, “man, oh man” while easing myself onto a couch.
- I am startled by kids riding their skateboards around me on the sidewalk and have an (increasingly uncontrollable) urge to shake my fist at them while grumbling something about “kids these days”.
Even with these clear indicators of my advancing age, I can’t help but occasionally look around and wonder where the grown ups are and why I am unsupervised.
This was abundantly true as I prepared for my first day of Whole30.
What I imagine an adult would do preparing for Day 1 of their first Whole30.
Wake up, drink some coffee while reading the newspaper. After a sensible breakfast of two eggs and some turkey sausage, begin meal prep, while whistling. Prepare meals for the week over the next several hours and put all compliant meals into color coded tupperware containers. Feel incredibly calm, satisfied and proud as success is now guaranteed.
What I actually did preparing for Day 1 of my first Whole30.
Slept in. Scrolled endlessly through NYE Instagram posts and stories. When hunger became more interesting than the 127th champagne opening Boomerang, order delicious Shake Shack. Inhale Shake Shack. Immediately regret Shake Shack and want to die. Binge watch Scandal because overeating Shake Shack has left me immobile. Question my choices. More Scandal. It’s time for dinner but I never want to eat again. Go to bed.
So you see what I mean? All signs point to adult and then I behave like an unsupervised toddler throwing a cheeseburger-fueled temper tantrum because they know they aren’t going to get to eat french fries for a month.
But on Day 1 I am the proud recipient of a Whole30 Clean Slate.
Not wanting to anger the Whole30 gods or Melissa Hartwig’s hair, I started today with the new Day by Day book and ended up feeling much better as the first entry normalized my behavior yesterday a bit. Not that Melissa recommended eating hamburgers to barf level, but I certainly felt better after realizing a little bit of Whole30 anxiety is to be expected (and my anxiety just happened to take the form of two cheeseburgers, fries and a peanut butter shake).
In the below image, you can see that Day 1 was also rescued by one of my fave Whole30 Approved Territory meals, a large black coffee, and the start of my 30 day search of Non-Scale Victories…with a special emphasis on the reduced number of (cheeseburger) tantrums.
And no, Melissa, given my experience I would not classify this NSV for children only.
PSA: if you reside in the DC, SoCal, San Francisco or Dallas areas and want to give Territory’s Whole30 Approved meals a whirl, use code JANW30 when creating your account, and snag $50 off your first order. Or just click the magic box below.